I am the father of two sons ages 2 ½ years and 7 months. Nothing unusual in that I hear you say and normally that would be correct.
However as I am 58 years old and have two other sons ages 33 and 31years I feel qualified to ask the following question.
Are the modern ideas contributing to the mistreatment of children and the break up of relationships?.
The modern way, aimed at what is best for the child, instructs parents that when a baby cries you feed it, pick it up, or both.
The end result is a baby which has learned very quickly that it can get a cuddle and a feed any time it asks for one.
While this is possibly the best thing for the baby, is it good for the family as a whole?.
If the baby is getting constant attention the result is sleepless nights and stressed parents.
Everyone is constantly tired and “short fused” resulting in possible harming of a baby that is always crying and arguments between mum and dad. Of course any other children get caught up in the situation as well.
This was what happened in my first marriage with my older two boys. Constant sleepless nights and bickering caused by “baby fatigue”.
With my second wife and the current two boys we decided to apply good old fashioned “routine”.
Feed times and sleep times were set and adhered to.
When it was sleep time the baby was put to bed with a kiss and a hug, and left to
settle. We used no distractions like mobiles etc as stimulation is the last thing needed to settle a baby.
We then applied the 10 minute rule if the baby cried. As baby was fed and dry he had no reason to cry. If he did we would only go to him after 10 minutes had passed. This NEVER happened as the longest cry was 2 to 3 minutes before he went to sleep. The 2 am feed was continued until baby himself slept through it.
The result was that one child slept through the night at 4 weeks and the other at 9 weeks.
Children and parents thrive with routine.
Our children are now in bed by 7pm and sleep until 7am the next morning. They are “bright eyed and bushy tailed” the next day and are not tired and “scratchy”. There is an absence of stress in our house.
My wife and I get “our time” in the evenings and can relax and get our own rest.
I know that there are many who would disagree with me and say that you have to do what is best for the baby. I would argue that what is best for the baby is to be raised in a stress free home with two loving parents who have not parted because of constant bickering brought about by fatigue.
Even more important is the fact that the child in this situation is less likely to be shaken, or worse still, beaten.